Cruising in the Mean Machine – The Enduring Appeal of Wacky Races

Contrary to what my friends say, I do not spend my Saturday mornings watching cartoons whilst eating cereal. Unless that cartoon is Wacky Races, which I have recently become familiarised with again (to the point of addiction) since I discovered it had been added to Virgin Media On Demand here in the U.K.

Produced by Hanna-Barbera and enjoying its original run in the U.S. from 1968 to 1970, Wacky Races is undoubtedly one of the most famous cartoons ever produced.  Due to frequent repeats, every new generation of children since then has had the chance to follow the exploits of the different competitors (or perhaps more accurately, combatants) in 11 different cars during various road rallies and the ingenious methods they would utilise to secure victory.  The great majority of race victories were often snatched at the very last second, usually at the expense of resident villains Dick Dastardly and his canine sidekick Mutley.

For anyone unacquainted with Wacky Races, it’s fair to say that you sadly missed out on a highlight of childhood.  Or at least my childhood.  Surprisingly, only 17 episodes (or 34 races) of this classic were ever produced.  Due to the numerous, continuous repeats I always believed there were far more.  The show did spawn two spin-offs: Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines, where the duo repeatedly attempted (and failed) to capture a messenger pigeon during World War I, and The Perils of Penelope Pitstop, which also featured the Ant Hill Mob.  However, neither are as universally known nor as memorable as the original.

Perhaps Wacky Races has enjoyed such longevity because, like some of the other cartoons belonging to the Hanna-Barbera stable, its ingredients make it timeless.  In addition to great voice acting as well as the characters being bright and colourful, and distinctive from one another, its simple but inventive slapstick humour can be enjoyed by children of all ages.  And adults, it seems.  When rediscovering Wacky Races, it was not simply reverent nostalgia that had me chuckling at some of the set-pieces but ingenious one-liners and spectacular incidences of one-up man ship that had me rolling with laughter.  Wacky Races is enjoyed by both adults and children because its simple race formula is boosted by a cast of memorable, off-the-wall characters who (Dick Dastardly aside) may not deliberately plot the downfall of their competitors outright but certainly take advantage of the opportunities provided by the bad luck experienced by their rivals.  The methods deployed to win certainly belong in a morally grey area - at least for small children.

Like all great TV shows made for children, Wacky Races also teaches its primary audience morals.  However, perhaps the show’s main strength is that it does this in an implicit way.  Thankfully, the show credits its younger viewers as possessing some level of intelligence and as being able to deduce these morals for themselves, even if this is done subliminally.  Too many of the newer children’s shows today contain morals that are featured so obviously and directly that they seem forced, patronising, sugar-coated and tagged-on.  Alternatively, some shows omit moralisations entirely.  Perhaps the best example is Pokemon.  Although it was a favourite of mine during my pre-teen years, the unacquainted could deduce that the only lessons it teaches children is how to trap and exploit animals for your own gain whilst f**ing over anyone who gets in your way on the road to being the best.  Fortunately, the show drew the line at kidnapping and outright theft of Pokemon, which was the favourite pastime of the “villainous” Team Rocket, who were so campy and dim-witted that they were repeatedly outsmarted by a 10 year old boy.  However, it was deemed perfectly acceptable to force your pets to fight to the point of exhaustion against wild Pokemon in order to literally knock them out.  And then at an opportune moment, bludgeon them with a “Pokeball” to capture them – in this free for all, it’s only deemed theft when the creature already belongs to someone.  If Pokemon were animals, the RSPCA would have a field day.

The main lessons of Wacky Races could be easily deduced by children – that to intentionally cheat in a race is unsportsmanlike and, furthermore, that cheats never prosper.  As idealistic as this lesson may be, it’s admirable that the show tried to demonstrate this to children in an accessible and humorous way.  Dastardly and Mutley not only failed to win a race but were usually disqualified for breaching the rules.  More importantly, they never seemed to have the respect of their peers.  Their racecar seems to have been called The Mean Machine ‘Double Zero’ for a reason.  Admittedly, some of the other participants may have gained an advantage unfairly, such as the Gruesome Twosome using their dragon to inadvertently set fire to a competitor, but this was usually by accident and lacked the premeditation, cunning and outright snideness that was Dick Dastardly’s forte.

Admittedly, part of the fun for adults is spotting the plot holes and potential hidden jokes in Wacky Races.  If Professor Pat Pending’s car can transform into various other vehicles and objects, then couldn’t he have enabled his car to transform into something that would have allowed him to snatch victory with relative ease?  Couldn’t the Gruesome Twosome use their dragon to fly to the finish?

Another important lesson in Wacky Races is that, quite ironically, Dick Dastardly could have won every race fairly, within the rules and with relative ease.  Because he always surges into the lead but stupidly stops to lay traps for those trailing him which usually backfire at his expense, it becomes apparent that he must have the fastest car.  Like the Aesop’s fable The Hare and the Tortoise, Dastardly usually loses the race primarily because of his own arrogance and stupidity, although his vanity (he once stops to a half to get his photo taken, mistaking the meaning of “photo finish”) and his carelessness (such as running out of petrol) are often to blame.

However, there is one example where Dastardly and Mutley win the race but are disqualified because they “win by a nose” – they actually extend the nose of the car to grasp victory.  Surely if it’s ok for Pat Pending to completely alter the composition of his car into a balloon, aeroplane or a bouncing ball, then it should be okay for Dastardly to make one slight alteration to his car at an opportune moment?  It seems that ultimately, the officials were determined not to grant Dastardly victory even if he won within the rules.  From this one example, it could be deduced that perhaps the true “moral” of Wacky Races, for adults and children alike, is that in some circumstances and for some people, success is impossible because the odds are so severely stacked against you…